One of the items on my vision board for this year was to start and maintain a blog, so here it is. Well, the start at least. I've felt really compelled to start writing again, now that we're getting settled into the new house.
Last year was for sure a journey for us. It was about this time last year that we were only 75% sure we were going to be moving to Puyallup. Check that, Corey was only 75% sure, I already knew we were moving. Looking back now, it was a whirlwind that seemed to drag on forever while we were living through it, but God was faithful in every step. We live in a home that I only could've dreamed of when I was younger, the transition to living with Corey's mom has gone absolutely swimmingly, and we have grown our friend-base from the amazing two we started out living with to a small group of amazing people we know we can count on to make us laugh and lift us up. Many of those friends we have met through the small-group ministry of our church, Community Group.
I decided to speak up yesterday in our Community Group and admit that I have been feeling depression trying to creep it's way back into my heart and mind recently, and I'm so glad I didn't let my pride get in the way of that. All of the changes in the last year have been really hard for me, and now that most of the change has taken place and the "normal" of not being in Yakima, not being on staff at the church, not having the wonderful friendships within a 20 minute radius and learning a new city and life has hit me hard. Being vulnerable and receiving the prayers of the group, knowing that will continue through the weeks until we meet again was worth it. John 1:5 (ESV) says, "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." How very true and reassuring that is. Dear friends, if you have darkness in your life, invite the light to shine on it, for that darkness cannot prevail.
Depression is a liar and a thief and a tool of the enemy. My particular body make-up is prone to Depression because of the chemical imbalances PCOS causes. It looks different on me than some people. It doesn't make me sad or withdrawn at the beginning. I get suspicious, I can't sleep, I take on the negative emotions of others SUPER easily, I fall back into my "little kid place" where I am sure everyone is mad at me and if I make one wrong move I'll be all alone, my thoughts aren't what they should be and they're much harder to shake than when I'm not dealing with depression.
I am beyond blessed to have a partner and husband that understands what depression does, how it lies and the signs of it in me. I don't know what I would do if I didn't have him in my life, in my ear and when I need it, in my face telling me what he sees and the truths I need to hear.
I try to hold to a few key Bible verses that help me. I'll share them here, but feel free to leave your favorite verses that get you through your tough times in the comments.
A 30-something living life in the PNW. Wife, Jesus-follower, Business Owner, Hockey Lover, Craft & Glitter Obsessed.